The 21st Century SAHM

A few simple requests (not at all sarcastic)

May 13, 2011

A few simple requests (not at all sarcatic)

So happy, the babies are. All the time.

Dear child #1… Please wake me up tomorrow morning at 5:45 a.m. Better yet, make it 5:30 — the earlier the better.

Dear child #2… Tonight please repeat the festivities of last night and scream bloody murder from 9 p.m. to midnight (especially because I asked your brother to wake me up tomorrow at 5:30).

Dear child #1… In the morning, please have a tantrum over me giving you the wrong spoon with breakfast. Also, please throw some sort of utensil or breakfast dish — it does not matter which one — as long as it makes oatmeal fly all over the room.

Dear child #2… Please continue with your new trend of screaming as if you are in pain when Mommy is out of the room, only to smile and coo as soon as she reappears. Please try to do this as often as possible while your brother is also freaking out over something ridiculous. Mommy likes it best when you both cry at once.

Dear child #1 and #2… Please continue to stagger your naps so that there is no more than 10 minutes overlap. You know how Mommy hates peace and quiet.

Dear husband…. Please extend your work trip a few more weeks. The past few weeks without you here have been so pleasant that I would like more time alone with the children.

Dear body… Please continue to refuse to lose the last few pounds of baby weight despite my efforts at exercising. Keep up the stubbornness.

Dear coffee maker…. Please continue to not magically make coffee before I emerge at 6 a.m. with a hyper, wide awake toddler.

Dear house… Please continue to be a disaster, especially after I spend 2 straight hours cleaning (like you did yesterday — good work on that one.)

Dear car… Please continue to follow house’s lead.

Dear sanity… Please come back.

image credit: pixabay.com

Just making memories

The 21st Century SAHM

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May 2, 2011

I was introduced to the concept of “making memories” by my sister and brother-in-law (also parents of a toddler). The idea is to view our most embarrassing, frustrating, painful, etc. experiences with our toddlers as simply “making memories” so that they are easier to stomach.

We have made some memories lately in our house…..

When I had to carry my 2 year old out of the zoo kicking and screaming while simultaneously pushing the stroller, I was just making memories.

When my toddler pressed the “automatic door” button in our van and the door almost crushed Mommy who was putting his sister in her car seat, we were just making memories.

When my toddler (yep — him again) dropped our laptop causing $800 worth of damage, that is okay, because he was making memories.

When a button popped off of my shirt and flew across the room at a play date because it was still too tight to fit over my milk-filled boobs, no worries — just making memories.

And finally, when I attempted to give my 4 month old a loving kiss and she puked in my mouth, Mommy did not mind, because she and baby were just making memories.

I guess I really should start scrapbooking after all.

Thank you, God

The 21st Century SAHM

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March 21, 2011

2:40 AM….. You wake up to feed baby. Back asleep at 3:30.

5:25 AM….. You wake up to see toddler standing next to your bed holding 6 books. He announces, “I read all these books” followed by, with great pride, “I pooted.”

5:45 AM….. You park newly diapered toddler on couch in front of Sesame Street and take an 8 minute shower.

8:35 AM….. You arrive at church. (Although you have now been awake for more than 3 hours, you are, of course late, so you must sit in the front row with your children who have not yet learned “church voices.”)

8:42 AM….. (7 minutes later) While congregation quietly listens to pastor, baby makes very audible poop.

8:43 AM….. (1 minute later) You feel an alarming warmth all over your lap and down your pant leg. You look down to learn that — yup, you are covered in poop. Baby looks at you and smiles.

8:44 AM….. You bow your head to pray and thank God for all of the wonderful gifts in your life.