The 21st Century SAHM

Don’t poke the bear.

October 4, 2013

As all parents know, we must speak in code. We refer to our monster 2-year old daughter as M.C. (“Middle Child) and we have also introduced the concept of “Don’t poke the bear” to our 4-year old son. Because of her unpredictable and very irrational mood swings and behavior, we are teaching him to avoid instigating a meltdown. If you sense that she is tired, hungry, cranky, frustrated, or really, just in the room… DON’T POKE THE BEAR.

This morning Mommy officially has caught the virus that is tearing through our household, so she was having a rest on the couch. Someone needed to wake up Daddy for work. I asked my 2-year old to do it, to which she replied, “Nope.”

Great. Thanks.

“Can you please go wake up Daddy? He would love to see you.”
“YOU go wake up Daddy.”
Teasing her, “YOU go wake up Daddy.”
“No, YOU.”
Tickling her chin, “No, YOU.”

She stops, turns, looks me deep in the eye and says coldly, “Don’t poke the bear.”

A compliment from Daddy

The 21st Century SAHM

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September 28, 2013

After a very long week, my kind husband was trying to give me a break this morning and allow me to work out in peace while he handled all 3 kids. While getting shredded with Jillian Michaels, I overhead the following:

Each kid needed something from Dad to which he admitted, “I cannot do 3 things at once. Only Mommy can do 3 things at once.”

My son then asked, “How can Mommy do 3 things at once?”

Dad: “Because Mommy is amazing.”

Aaaaawwww. So sweet.

Fast forward 3 hours. Daddy is out and Mommy is alone with all 3. It is the witching hour for the 7- month old who does not know if he is more tired or more hungry, so Mom is trying to get a few bites of food in him before a nap. And she has the big kids’ dinner cooking on the stove. And the 2-year old needs help pulling up her pants in the bathroom.

Because of tasks #s 1 and 2, I told her that she is a big girl and could do it herself.

“But Mommy!!! I caaaaaaaan’t!!! I need you!!!”

“Well Mommy is busy feeding your brother and cooking. I cannot help you right now.”

And here it is: my clever 4-year old son pipes in: “But Daddy said you can do 3 things at once. So this should be easy for you, Mom.”

Thanks for trying, Daddy. Love ya.

Motherhood is…

The 21st Century SAHM

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September 27, 2013

Sipping wine between folding towels and onesies at 9:00 at night.

Squatting on a public bathroom floor with a baby on your hip as you hoist a toddler onto the toilet.

Letting your child wear her shoes on the wrong feet to have one less battle to fight today.

Going to Target on a Friday night as your “Mom’s Night Out.”

Changing your sheets at midnight because your 4-year old had crept into your bed and then peed all over it in his sleep.

Then sleeping in his bed because he is taking up all of your side in your bed. (Daddy still manages to command his entire half.)

Desperately needing a break from your kids only to text babysitter in 30-minute intervals to find out every specific detail about feeding, bedtime, pooping, etc.

For dinner, eating 3 bites of macaroni and cheese, one half of a cold meatball and 6 carrot sticks (a.k.a. whatever was left on their plates).

Wearing a green macaroni necklace all day doing errands.

Pinning projects on Pinterest that will never get done. Spending hours creating different boards for said pins but never taking the time to actually do the projects.

Justifying going out without showering because you will “probably work out later.” You won’t.

Finding a Cheerio on the floor and eating it because that is easier than getting up and bringing it to the garbage.

Shutting your irrational and exhausting toddler in her room for bed after 8 tantrums since dinner. Then creeping back up there 20 minutes later hoping she is still awake so you can give her a kiss and tell her you love her. Then feeling horribly guilty because she is already asleep. Waiting for the morning to start fresh with positive love-filled parenting. In morning, fighting with her 12 times before 9 am. Wishing for bedtime. Repeating cycle.